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Paula Steichen Polega passed away peacefully at her Hendersonville home, with her son by her side, in the early morning hours of Saturday, Jan. 13, after a courageous year-long battle with colon cancer. She was 80.
Born in Chicago to writer Helga Sandburg Crile, she was the granddaughter of poet, historian and musician Carl Sandburg, Paula’s early years were shaped by her life on the family farm, Connemara, in Flat Rock. There she was surrounded by nature and the songs, stories, warmth, and curiosity of her family. Her grandfather wrote a poem for her when she was only two that encapsulated what so many would feel about Paula.
KARLEN PAULA
I love thy face with a love given
to fresh flower blooms.
I love thy spoken words as the shimmer
of sun slants and the drift of rain.
If I should believe in angels and meet one
she would be somewhat like you.
Until I come to know one angel
worth cherishing I shall go on
in my cherishing of thy face and
spoken words.
CARL SANDBURG
Connemara, 1946
In 1952, she moved to the Washington, D.C., area and eventually to Cleveland, OH. She attended the University of Chicago and subsequently earned her bachelor’s degree from Case Western Reserve University. After completing her studies, she published a lovely memoir, “My Connemara,” about the Sandburgs and the wonderful early years of her childhood.
In 1972, she returned to the Southern Appalachian mountains, initially moving to Tuxedo, where she reconnected with the traditions of the mountains, before finally moving to Jeter Mountain. In her journal, she would write of this place nestled in the mountains:
“It was a wild piece of land – all in timber with streams and springs and ferns and blueberries and a gentle terrain that lifted at the top of the property, so that one climbed steeply there and could stand looking out over the tops of the great trees below and the distant blue mountains.”
In the years that followed, timber was cleared, a house was built, Paula and Stanley were married, and two babies, Sky and then Birch, were born. With Paula’s concepts and designs for their family house and the grounds, and Stanley’s ability to execute on that vision, they would slowly change this wild land into a warm home, with the joy of the children in the air and books lining the walls, and a lively farm surrounded by beautifully tended gardens of flowers and crops. Her garden was truly like an artist’s canvas, and she genuinely enjoyed the changing colors and shapes of each season. And for Paula, this place, this family, these children, would become the most important things in her life, and vice versa.
And while Paula adored her home in the North Carolina mountains, she held an equally deep curiosity in and compassion for other cultures and what was happening around the globe. From a young age, she wrote of discussions she would engage in with her grandfather, talking about the people, animals, art and traditions of countries around the world. In her extensive travels she was rarely a tourist, and instead immersed herself with the local people, food and customs, eager to know what it was really like to live there. It wasn’t uncommon for a conversation over dinner with friends to result in a world map unfurling across the table to discuss far-flung adventures. Similarly, Paula inspired her children to both cherish their North Carolina roots while also seeing themselves as citizens of the world. There was not a place in the world where Paula did not find the opportunity for commonality and connection.
Paula brought so much to the world. A writer and artist, an avid reader, and unparalleled editor, she never saw traditional boundaries; instead, she saw hope, possibility, and challenges to be overcome. Whether it was her deep love of animals, and the respect and gratitude they would show her; or her ability to create exquisite beauty and order wherever she went; or the incredible gardens that she labored over with such intensity and love; or her legendary cooking and baking skills that had been showcased through her mastery of the Julia Child cookbook and the spectacular spreads of desserts she would create at holidays. She had an eye for understanding the potential of things, and maybe more importantly the drive and vision to bring those concepts to fruition.
Perhaps Paula’s greatest contributions were to the lives she touched and nurtured. She was a born teacher, her eternal curiosity, bright intellect, gentle guidance, and boundless patience leaving an indelible mark on countless hearts. Whether it was through working with the staff at the Carl Sandburg National Historic Site to help preserve the lives and literary legacy of the Sandburgs, hosting foreign exchange students from across the globe, serving as a Guardian ad litem for the vulnerable children, learning how to and performing dialysis at home when the need arose, or simply offering a sympathetic ear and a warm cup of tea, Paula found a way to bring out the inherent good in the world and within each individual and her home was always a welcoming one.
Throughout her life, Paula faced her fair share of challenges, but none more so than the tragic loss of her daughter, Sky, at the age of 25. Far beyond anything in this world, Paula cared about her family and most of all her children. Sky had been described as, “a rare young lady who combined a sincere desire to learn, superior intellect, uncommon pleasantness, and a warmth that attracted everyone,” and left a lasting impact on those around her. The exact same things could be said of Paula. Sky’s loss left a gaping void in her heart – a depth of grief that is impossible to express. Her only solace was found in Sky’s friends who kept her memory alive, the love of her family, and eventually in her connection with nature.
Paula will be remembered for so many things, but especially for the beautiful, caring way she welcomed guests; the warmth of her voice, her hugs, and her spirit; her genuine curiosity in every person and their thoughts and ideas; her sincere and sage advice, often born of her own lived-experience; the bouquets, flowers, plants, and vegetables raised by her own hand that filled her surroundings; the poetic, and often philosophical, letters she wrote; her bravery and courage; and most of all for the boundless love, encouragement, and tenderness she extended to her friends and family.
Paula Steichen Polega is survived by her son, Birch Polega; her brother, Dr. John Steichen (Liz); her half-sister Char Campbell (Evan). She was preceded in death by her daughter, Sky; her husband of 45 years, Stanley; and her half-brother Greg Thoman. A private memorial service will be held in the spring.